and who knew a group of asian boys dressed in tight pants would make me suffer so much
"I-is it t-true?"
His strong arms that wrapped around Taemin.
"P-please Jjong. Please s-say that’s not true."
His beautiful lips that kissed by Taemin.
"You’re n-not like that. You…you love me, right?"
The way he smiles when he saw Taemin.
Kibum was blind. He hadn’t saw that his Jonghyun’s eyes not on him anymore. His love was blind. Maybe for days, for months, for years…
He never thought that someday Jonghyun’s love for him will over. He never thought that when he kiss him, Jonghyun won’t feel anything. He never thought that when he says the most beautiful three words, Jonghyun won’t say back to him.
He didn’t remember the last time that Jonghyun looked at him lovingly with his big brown orbs. He didn’t remember the last time Jonghyun stroked his cheeks gently before fall asleep peacefully. He didn’t remember the last time he felt Jonghyun’s safe arms around him.
He didn’t saw anything. His love was blind.
Blind for Jonghyun.
Jonghyun doesn’t have an excuse. Even his heart shattered when he saw the falling tears from that beautiful feline eyes, even he wanted to kill himself for made that precious boy sad when he heard a broken sob from his throat, he doesn’t have any excuse.
‘’Why? Is h-he better than m-me? I’m not making you happy a-anymore? Why Jonghyun? Why are you d-doing this to me?’’
‘’N-no Kibum…I’m…I’m sorry.’’
When he reached to the door knob, Kibum knew that he will never come back. When he walked out from their house, Kibum knew that was the last time he saw Jonghyun, the man he loves with his whole heart.
He stayed there, maybe for hours. He watched the love of his life fade away with slow steps. Into the darkness, into an another man. He felt his heart squeezed with his every steps. Like Jonghyun was walking on his heart and let it break to pieces.
Kibum hasn’t cried since that day. He didn’t try to fix his hearts broken pieces. Because after that day, he didn’t feel anything. Anger, frustration, sadness. Nothing. Just emptiness.
But he was still waiting. Even after two years, every day when he eats tasteless foods in his silent kitchen, he was waiting that Jonghyun would sit in front of him and plant a kiss his lips after say how good the foods are. Every time he looks in the mirror to his tired and empty eyes, he was waiting that Jonghyun would come and say that he is beautiful more than anything. And every night when he curls up in his bed, he was waiting that his Jonghyun would come, wrap his arms around his thin waist, and after kiss his neck, whisper to his ear that three beautiful words.
He was still waiting. But Jonghyun never came.
Kibum’s love was blind.
Blind for Jonghyun.